Okay, I've had enough God talk to last me a while. I don't want this blog to turn into SPoDE.
Time to talk about dirty movies or something...
Anyone have any good recommendations? I haven't seen any good ones since Space Nuts and Raw Hide.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Religion Free Zone
Okay, I've had enough God talk to last me a while. I don't want this blog to turn into SPoDE.
Time to talk about dirty movies or something...
Anyone have any good recommendations? I haven't seen any good ones since Space Nuts and Raw Hide.
To the QOAE's Lil' Sis.
Sto Lat! Alice, sto lat!
If I Wasn't Sure Before...
Now I know I made the right choice. Sean Hannity endorses Mitt Romney. I can stop chanting "serenity now", now.
How To Avoid A Traffic Ticket...
First, it helps tremendously if you don't drive 50 in a 35mph zone. I couldn't quite manage that, unfortunately. Second, braking hard when you see a police car has about a 50/50 success rate. In my case, it didn't work. So, I got pulled over.
There I am on the side of the road, hoping the officer was a man. I always have the best luck with male officers. He comes to my window and I give him a blinding smile. He asks the question they all ask. Yes, I do know why you pulled me over officer and I'm so very sorry. I can't believe I did that. I'm in the middle of a nasty divorce...then I sigh. He smiles and asks for my papers, I hand them over and smile again. He asks about my driving record. It's excellent, of course. I'm a very law abiding citizen. Big smile. He smiles back and says to wait a moment.
He comes back and says "you're right, you do have an excellent driving record. And, may I say killer dimples". I blush, naturally. "No ticket this time but drive more carefully". I will and thanks officer, I flash another big smile. Then he smiles and says, "you know those dimples are lethal weapons." I replied, I did not know that officer, I guess I should be more careful with them. Big smile and a wink. "You do that, young lady".
Yeah, I'll do that...
In the comments to my "I Guess I'm Just Different" post, Shep responded with this: Like most things in life, God's got nothing to do with it.
He wrote that in response to my statement about both parties being willing.
I couldn't disagree more. So much so, I created a new entry.
In any given domestic union, one party or the other is willing to give it another chance. It usually boils down to the most guilty of the two parties wants to make amends for what they had done. It's up to the victim (sorry, couldn't think of a better word) to decide if they want to give it another go.
If you talk to a shrink, then its divorce court here we come. If you talk to a clergy, he may open your eyes to the bigger problem.
Communication is the key. If you can't talk to your spouse, you do something to get their attention. Extra-Marital affairs, Cyber-Affairs, Domestic Violence, Porn. These are a few tools cowards use to express their displeasure. Most of its non-verbal, all of it is repulsive. If you can't learn from your mistakes or the mistakes of others, a divorce isn't going to solve the problem. It's just going to remove one person from the equation, until the day you find another person to fill that void and the problem starts all over again.
The only way you can truly make a life changing decision like this is if you talk directly to God. You might be surprised and find out that your course of action is indeed correct.
I firmly believe my sister and I, while on different paths, are both going in the right direction. Who knows. Maybe one day, my path will change and I'll follow her. But for now, I know I am doing what is right. I know this in my heart because God told me so.
God Matters, at least to me.
Kenpo Karate. I've started taking both private lessons and group. This week I learned how to throw a proper punch, the key being to cause as much damage to my opponent and as little to myself. I've also learned how to move while throwing left hooks and right crosses. I did 3, 2-minute rounds, got slightly winded. Then I did a second set and really kicked butt. It appears I'm a natural boxer. I also have a killer left. Next week, I start learning open hand and foot strikes, also blocking. Eventually, I'll work my way up to weapons. Of course, that's way down the road...
I'm so in deep like with this sport. The biggest thing is that I've finally started to have the fog lift from inside my head. I'm starting to see things as they are and not how I wish them to be. It's Zen, baby. It can be brutal but at least it's honest.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Who would be strange bedfellows? Well, in terms of this post it would be myself and Al Franken. It doesn't get stranger than that. What on earth am I thinking? Actually, I'm thinking about God and my absolute faith that there is one.
What has inspired this post? I've really been thinking about it a lot lately. I have a good friend, nearly my best friend, a person I both respect and care for beyond words. This person used to have faith and then one day it was gone. That makes me sad. I don't mean sad in a condescending way, I mean it really nearly breaks my heart that my friend had the comfort of faith and lost it. It makes me want to just wrap my arms around them and never let go. Maybe some of my faith will leave me and grab hold of them again. That brings me to Al Franken. My faith is similar to his despite the fact that I am a Catholic and he is a Jew.
Al Franken discussed his belief in God and said it is like his father's.
"The Bible was not to be taken literally. Woman evolved along with man through natural selection. Not Adam's rib. The work of God could be found, as our Founding Father's believed, in Nature. Dad told me that he believed Nature, which to him included humankind, to be so beautiful, so magnificent, that there had to be something behind it all. It was no more or less complicated than that".For Al, his dad and myself the rest of religion lay in the ethical teachings of Judaism. For myself they further include the ethical teachings of Catholicism.
I have many reasons for believing. First and foremost, I was raised in the Church. That doesn't mean I never questioned God. My life has been a series of trials that would make a saint question the existence of God and I am no saint. I'm not going to tell you about my entire life, don't worry. Just some very recent highlights. I've never really been a "good" Catholic but I was a great "bad" teenager and a typical college student. One thing I did have a fair grip on were my morals, in some ways I was a very good girl. Fear of pregnancy and disease more than burning in hell kept me grounded. I always believed in God but I never really thought about why. My younger sister died at 13 months of age, when I was only 3 and my even younger sister was less than 8 weeks old. My older sister died 2 weeks before I turned 16. She died a questionable death and to this day it is my belief (and most of my family's) that her then boyfriend got away with murder.
More things happened that questioned my faith but I chugged along telling myself that I still believed. When I became a mother, something changed inside me. I needed to believe more than ever. So I did. Bad things happened...I still clung to it. Then in June of 2001, while I was living in Indianapolis, I got a call that dropped the bottom out of my shaken faith. It was Father's Day, my dad was in the hospital having tests. Dean and I were having a drink and watching the very first episode of HBO's "6 Feet Under". Phone rings, I answer it. I stand there mute staring blankly at my spouse. I'm listening to my older brother's strong but shaky voice tell me that my father has Stage 4 metastatic Cancer and is not expected to live out the week. I didn't speak. I screamed at the top of my lungs: NO!, NO!, NO!, NO! Oh my GOD, NO!!!!!!! Needless to say, it was an unexpected call. My daddy was everything to me and to my 3 year old little boy. He was everything to my entire family. Everyone loved my father. Now we had to watch him die, slowly. That week turned into long, painful 5 months. Right before he died, he witnessed 9/11. Talk about questioning faith...
In January 2003, I had a surgery that was supposed to be simple. It wasn't. Not only was it not simple but I had a very serious complication. I didn't want it blogged about but let us just say that I was so close to death that I saw angels. Yeah, I'm serious. I thought I was dreaming. I told my doctor about my dream and he smiled and said Thank GOD, kid. I really needed the help. I was in the ER and the last thing I heard before I was unconscious was a series of beeps and someone yelled "80/40, she's crashing"...
Then I'm staring at the blurry lights but I don't hear any doctors. I hear arguing. A woman and a man with a heavy Polish accent. The woman kept saying" I told you she's too stubborn to listen", the man kept saying "quiet". Then he said, "Rouzia wake up now." "Get up girl" "listen to your papa". Then the woman starts again, "she hasn't changed one bit" "she never listened to you and you let her get away with it". Then I yelled I'm up, Eva shut up already. My doctor smiled at me and said, "who is Eva?" Why? You were fighting with her, he said. I couldn't have been, she's been dead since 1984. And your dad? 2001... Wow, I must've been dreaming. So, I told him about my dream and he smiled and said..."Thank God, kid. I really needed the help."
Was it a dream? Probably but why did I have it? I had no idea I was on the verge of dying. It's also not the only time that has happened to me. Last night, I was exhausted and running a really high fever. I just felt awful. I was having a really weird dream and my sister made another appearance. I looked up and saw her and said great, you never come for a good reason. She just smiled at me and said "get up". Why? "You aren't breathing". Of course, I am. "No, you aren't. Get up and get help. NOW!"
I woke up gasping for air. I could not breathe. I used my asthma meds and they helped a bit. Then I don't recall much. I remember worrying about my blog, my kids and I kept thinking I need to get help. Long story short, I'm fine. Again. Why am I fine? I think that God decided that I had more to do and sent my sister to make sure I didn't die in my sleep.
Am I wrong? Maybe but I don't believe that I am...
I Guess I'm Just Different
I made a commitment before God and my family. One of my vows was "till death do us part." Call me crazy, but I plan to honor that commitment. No matter what*. It's something my family may not understand and there is nothing I can say or do to help them understand.
With all due respect to them, they don't have to understand. This is between me and God.
There are limits to my "No matter what" statement. The hardest thing in the world to do is forgive. I firmly believe that if both parties are willing to work things out, then they should be allowed to work things out. No matter how heinous or grievous or (fill in the blank) the offense is. With some spiritual guidance, anything can be worked out.
Almost immediately after the polls closed last night, we heard that Rudy Giuliani was dropping out. He will announce that, and endorse McCain today.
On the Democrat side, there are now only two. In a bit of a shock, to me at least, John Edwards has dropped out. He will not immediately endorse a candidate.
I figured Edwards would have lasted at LEAST thru Super Tuesday. I guess not.
Something Fun. Presidential Paintball!
Obama and Romney supporters may want to take out their frustrations..
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
McCain and Romney are neck and neck, with McCain slightly leading, as of 8:20PM EST.
Hillary Wins! No delegates or anything. I guess we can call it a moral victory...
I'm watching American Idol. I'll update the Republican race later.
Update 9:25PM EST: McCain Wins Florida.
What's in a name?
Top Ten TOTALLY Unelectable First Names for current and future Presidential Candidates (from the home office in Nanakuli:)
10. "Saddam" (That name just sort of "hangs" there. I'm not sure what's worse - naming your kid Saddam or Britney, although the phrase "Leave Saddam alone" just doesn't have the same ring.)
9. "Elmo" (until 3-year old insomniacs have the right to vote... put Kermit on the ticket and it's a different issue. Remember, we already elected a Grover.)
8. "Dennis" (I don't care how hot your wife is, as long as "Dennis the Menace" jokes can be made, you won't become president. Also, if you look like a "trekkie" then the Magic 8-ball says "outlook not good.")
7. "Adolf" (see also Saddam, Idi, Osama, etc.)
6. "Jesse" (Minnesota almost gave us a scare when they elected "the Body" as governor. Jesse James, Jesse Jackson, Jesse's Girl, neva happen. Same goes for the name Jessica.)
5. "Brownie" (Although not technically a first name, used as such by current Commander in Chief. The moniker "Brownie" is now synonymous with royal fuckup.)
3. "Skip" (How can the leader of the free-world be taken seriously if he's named Skip? Someone named Skip rides a skateboard to work at the mall; he doesn't have the nuclear warhead launch codes.)
2. "Vladimir" (Yes, the cold war is over, but NO U.S. President will EVER be named Vladimir or Czeslaw, Lech, Igor, Ivan, or Pavel for that matter.)
1. "Mitt" (This space for rent.)
Haven't All "Land Developers" from Chicago ...
Been indicted at least once? I thought it was like a prerequisite or something... Barack Obama's guy-pal and donor from the Land of Al Capone and ketchup free hotdogs had his bail revoked.
Eh, big deal. It's Chicago, where the dead rise just to vote for the Democrats. Shady developers, slimy politicians... I'd be more shocked if it were totally fraud free. That would be news worthy.
The Greatest Betrayal!!!
The NY chapter of NOW is angry at Ted Kennedy's greatest betrayal. What is Ted Kennedy's greatest betrayal? The list is so long, how can you choose a greatest? NOW is a women's group, so obviously, Kennedy's greatest betrayal is ... endorsing Barack Obama. You liberal chicks crack me up. Ted Kennedy is the scummiest miscreant of all the Kennedys, there is a dead girl, various accusations of rape and abuse of women in his past, yet this is his greatest betrayal?
I've always thought the chicks of NOW were a bunch of whiny, hypocritical assholes. They never disappoint me.
Monday, January 28, 2008
State of the Union
Did you ever notice that George W. Bush was hot. Sweet ass on the POTUS. Okay, I wasn't actually watching it. I was too busy getting pretty for a very overdue night out. And yes, I'm wearing my Issac Mizrahi boots. They make me 5'11"...
Tell me about the very last SOTU that my beloved will deliver, so I don't have watch the rerun on late night news. No bigger buzz kill than that.
Crooks and Liars Recognizes Greatness
Sing It! - Doc Weasel - Sing It!
My friend, Doc Weasel wants to know: Is the Republican nomination being driven by a bunch of fucking racist bloggers?
The answer is simple. YES. Of course, it is. That's why I'm getting called a liberal now for supporting/voting McCain in the Primary. Well, that and because I will absolutely vote for Clinton if the Democrats don't stupidly choose another...
Here's what the Doc has to say:
You should go and read the rest...
Socialism Is Bad...
Well, it was bound to happen, free healthcare does have some costs afterall.
And pray tell, what difference is there between the NHS and what private insurers in the USA do everyday?
Can anyone float me a Marlboro? Just one, I swear...
[Owww! I just got pinched and handed another damn Nicoderm patch]
I'm Sick Of The High Road
It appears that I may be sick of it but I'm just not nasty enough to do anything about it. Damn.
Is Honesty The Best Policy?
I've always thought so. I've tried really hard to be completely honest since I became an adult. Sure, I'll tell someone a tiny lie to spare hurt feelings. Women do it all the time, for example there is this beauty: "of course I came". Dude, seriously, if you have to ask, she didn't. "It's not the size that counts"... Look here fellas, you can't jump a woman packing an inch worm and expect to rock her world. You'd better have some damn tricks or you will be getting lied to, a lot.
I won't tell white lies to my sister or close friend, when they ask if they look fat in some outfit. Never. I don't want that one to come back and bite me later. The last thing I want to be lied to about is looking shitty. Don't you dare let me go out looking like a dork with a big butt. My sister never would and I wouldn't do that to her. I'd lie to a girl I didn't like, because, it's survival of the fittest.
In general, I don't like lying, it makes me really uncomfortable doing it and I end up doing it poorly. I refuse to lie to family and friends. Actually, knowing that I won't lie often prevents people from asking uncomfortable questions. So, it's a win-win. Also, I hate liars. Not white liars but pigs that lie about themselves or things they have done. Those people can drop dead.
What about you? Does lying make you uneasy? Is there anyone you just won't lie to?
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Let's get something straight
The Democrat that gets the nomination will become the next President of the United States - period. Sen. McCain is the ONLY Republican candidate that even has a chance to make a decent showing in the general election, but he's going to get whacked (figuratively) either by his own party or by the Democrats if he gets the nomination.
I'm putting a case of Blue Moon beer on this prediction. Who wants some of this action?
Democrats are going to kick some Republican ass this fall, and if you've ever seen republican ass - it's fat, slow, stupid, and in the way. You know it's just begging to be kicked!!!
Smoke free. I'm a bit of freak in other areas now ... but I can breathe without asthma meds.
Proof That I'm A Turncoat...
To my "values" and my "conservatism" by my hardcore Republican brothers...
Whatever. Like the NY Times has never been right before...
Sometimes I Hate Being A Girl...
Women are generally intuitive, men are usually not. This why couples tend to fight. Women guess or read into something that a man did or didn't do. 80% of the time the woman is right but that still leaves 20% wrong. That 20% can kill a good relationship especially because women don't like admitting they are wrong 20% of the time. They will focus on the 80% correct - to the death.
I try to avoid using my intuition because it always gets someone in trouble. The only time I listen to it, at all, is when my stomach starts acting up. If I get nauseated, I re-evaluate. Personally, I'd rather just go with the flow. As most of you know, I recently re-evaluated. The one thing that these last few months have confirmed for me is that my intuition sucks ass. It is getting better but man...I really hate being a girl.
We are always reading into everything. We can't help it and if we have any insecurities the perceptions are even more distorted. This is why girls need girlfriends. Girlfriends "get" what a girl needs, especially one having a bad time. I'm not generally very girly and needy but I have been lately. I think emotional stress amplifies estrogen. Men don't understand that at all. Truly, unless you're gay, a guy can't provide the emotional security a woman is looking for. Women need to talk it out. That means we require feedback. Any feedback. A simple acknowledgment is better than silence.
I sent my girlfriend an email the other day. It was simple, maybe 5 words. Sounded like "I will never marry another man ever". Okay, that was 6 words. What did I get back? First, and most importantly, I got a response. Chicks need responses. Second, the response was intended to make me laugh and to tell me that all men don't suck just the one I was familiar with. Then it went on to list all his faults and why I was so stupid. Finally, it gave me encouragement. Look at how smart and strong you are now. Don't give up. You're still young. My brother thinks you're smokin' hot and wants your number.
That's why girls need girlfriends and why I hate being a girl. I hate that I need that. I have a few really good guy friends. They all suffer from the same ailment. They have a penis so they are unaware that when a girl sends them a deep, sad, emotional email...they are expecting a response. Any response. When they don't get a response, they start intuiting things. All the things we perceive feed right into our own insecurities. A woman is so good at beating herself up, that she will have had a fight, a breakdown and pushed you clean out of her life before you ate breakfast.
Then you think that all chicks are crazy. We aren't crazy, just different. That's why I hate being a girl. As hard as I try, I do it too. I've had entire conversations with myself, beating myself up for being too demanding and needy. And I'm not even nearly as bad as some other women. But that is because I fight the urge...constantly.
I play sports, I watch sports, I swear, I tell dirty jokes, I prefer the company of men to women...but when I'm having emotional difficulty. I need my girfriends and that is just annoying.
Sometimes I really hate being a girl...
I'm not sure if Ara was just screwing with me or not when he said: Cashews have shells now...?
But screw it, it's 2am on a Sunday morning and I can either write a post about those shitty nuts or watch the 3rd installment of "Elmo in Numberland"...
Guess which I choose?
Cashews not only have shells now but they have always had them. Hence, the term nut when referring to them. Technically, they are a seed. But that's another discussion. The cool thing about the cashew nut or seed is that are surrounded by a double shell containing a caustic phenolic resin, urushiol, a potent skin toxin also found in poison ivy. Some people are allergic to cashews, but cashews are a less frequent allergen than some nuts.
Anacardic acids that are found in cashews have been used in vivo against tooth abcesses. They are also active against a wide range of other gram positive bacteria. The bark can be scraped and soaked overnight or boiled as an antidiarrheal. Seeds are ground up into powders used for antivenom for snake bites. The nut oil is used topically as an antifungal and for healing cracked heels.
Aren't you glad to know all that? That's the kind of crap wasting valuable brain space in my head. That and all those damn commercial jingles. Calculus requires some brushing up but just ask me about Honeycombs or Alka-seltzer and I will break out into song!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
The late great MItch Hedberg
"Saved by the buoyancy of citrus!"
Obama takes South Carolina
Big deal. Yeah, that's all I got. It's Saturday and I'm too relaxed to give a crap tonight. :-)
Lefties are outraged at Hillary's secret attempt to win Florida by sneaky campaigning. Shocker!
Hahahahahaha. Face it, they are pissed because, as everyone knows, the Clintons are smarter campaigners. Duh!!!!!!!!!!!
In My Head - Reprise
I took this post down, a few days back, for a dumb reason but I posted it for a really good reason. So, it's back because the person that inspired the post, still inspires it and probably always will.
Well, this kinda sucks. I'm not the biggest fan of fish. Actually, I'm probably the pickiest eater you'll ever meet. I mean, I'm the kind of person that hates cashews. One thing I do love is shellfish. If it comes in a shell, I'm all over that baby ... unless it's a cashew. Ick.
Oddly, as picky as I am, I love sushi. Well, not love but I do like it a lot. And tuna steaks, I like those too. So yeah, it sucks to find out that something I like and thought was pretty healthy is on the EPA's hit list. You know this is almost as bad, as the time I read the ingredients of hotdogs. Finding out that you're eating pig snout and scrotum, that's some traumatizing shit for a 10 year old. Now it's mercury, PCB's and dioxins. Great! I gave up French fries for that?
If I'm a Democrat...
What the in the hell are you guys?
Friday, January 25, 2008
She is one of my very favorite female recording artists. She writes some of the most poetic and beautiful lyrics I've ever heard. Everytime I hear one of her songs, I am moved. Often, her lyrics express my own feelings better than I can.
One of my favorite songs by her is called Forever Love (Digame), I understand that digame means "talk to me". Oh and before anyone starts wondering if there is a hidden meaning to this post, there isn't. I just really love this song. I wish there was a hidden meaning...hopefully someday there will be.
I read this post about selfish people and the comments regarding the post and I'm confused. Since when is choosing to give birth a selfish act? Yes, I know the post was really about why biological fathers matter and why stepfathers are inferior. I got that. You don't have hit me in the head with a hammer, I get it.
I'd like to pose a different view. First, if you haven't read Tim's post about being a step-parent then you should. Now, I understand that there are many, many men and women, in this world, that will never be able to connect to a child that has no blood tie to them. There are also many men/women that are unable to connect to a child they themselves created. I think it's terribly sad but I know it happens.
I, personally, don't have this problem. I love children. I love my children, I love my nieces and nephew, I love the children of my friends. I volunteer at my children's school. I'm the mom that all the kids come to. Everyone knows if they can't find their kid to call me because I'm like the Pied Piper of children. If I had the means, I would adopt or even foster children. I have a lot of love and I'd like nothing more than to share it. If I had the financial security, I'd be the old women who lived in a shoe. Although, unlike her I'd know what to do. I'd also live in a big house with lots of bedrooms and a pool. Someplace warm, like Georgia...
Back to this "fathers matter" business. Of course, they matter. Two parents is usually best but that doesn't always mean biological parents. Adoptive parents are great. They are true parents. Anyone with the capacity to love a child regardless of bloodline, that is a real parent. Step-parents are real parents too. Anyone that can love someone with children and want to build a life with that person and their children, that is a truly selfless soul.
Are such people rare?
I think it's rarer to find someone that would put their own base needs and desires above the needs of their own children. That is what I would call selfish. A person that would rather their children live in a home with parents that don't love each other. That is selfish. A person that would abuse themselves, their spouse and by extension their own children. That is selfish. A person that continues to do this even after having lost everything. That is selfish. A person that would prefer their children not have as much love as possible. That is a mighty selfish person.
There is nothing selfish about someone loving someone else enough to also love their child as they would their own. Thank goodness the world is filled with more people willing to love others than those that can only love themselves.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
At about 3:13 into the clip, I absolutely lose my ability NOT to pee in my pants.
They certainly do.
I make no distinction between step-father, (I am one), and biological father (I am one as well). The only word that matters is the word “father.” A father devotes his life to the welfare of his child or children. He will sacrifice everything (pride, ego, etc.) to ensure his children are properly cared for. This is his primary mission in life.
I was not a good husband to my son’s mother. Now, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t beat her, verbally abuse her, or fail to provide for her, but I was gone so often in the Army that we just grew apart and fell out of love. When she divorced me, I agreed to pay $900 per month in child support for 18 years (this was 7 years ago), and I know she is a fantastic mother to our son. His college is paid for, and he is well taken care of. However, in many ways, I failed as a father.
I am a remarkable step-father and have been so for the past 6 years despite the fact that the marriage has failed (go figure with my track record). I’ve provided for my step-daughter since she was 4, built a strong college fund and am her sole financial supporter.
She knows that I’m not her biological father, but there is NO doubt in her mind that I am her real father. One day I was at her school and an administrator asked why we had different last names. I quickly explained that I was her “step-father.” Tears welled up in my daughter’s eyes as she told me to NEVER call myself a “step-father” directly implying that she thinks of me as her father. She was right. Even at 9 years old (at the time) she was able to recognize more than most adults. I will never make that mistake again.
My parents stayed together “for the kids” for 20+ years, and it was a lifelong mistake. They didn’t love each other, and it affected us children negatively. Had they divorced we would have been in a better environment. Trust me, there was NO WAY that marriage was salvageable, but less damage would have been done. Dad should have moved out, provided financial support, and things would have been better.
A caring, compassionate step-father who provides for his wife’s children is better everyday of the week and twice on Sundays than a poor father/husband.
It seems like yesterday when phones were made for just talking. Now you can do photos, video & text. I'm not sure when text messaging became popular, but now-a-days you can't go anywhere without seeing someone send or receive a text message.
I received 3 yesterday and I'll probably receive some more today.
Thank goodness I'm not a Mayor or something. Now it appears text messages can be used to prove you committed perjury.
When did the text messaging craze start??
Was it American Idol?? Something Else??
My co-bloggers are busy this morning, so I'm interrupting my hiatus to give you this open thread.
Also, to tell you that I got a beautiful pair of Isaac Mizrahi suede boots with a 3.5 inch heel. Thank you, shoe Gods, for dropping these babies from heaven just for me.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
You gotta love this:
In 2005, Glenn Sacks (apparently a misnomer of a last name) led a successful campaign against the T-shirt logo which had printed on it: "Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them!"
His protest resulted in having the line withdrawn from a number of stores across the USA.
Why Glenn "Sacks" didn't lead another campaign entitled...
"I'm a big giant wussy, and I want to turn all young men into pansy-ass sissy boys" I have no idea.
More details available over at Steaming Pile of Dog Excrement.
Cowtip: what's the point?
For the curious...
Things have been getting way too serious lately, at home and most especially at work. So a co-worker posed a question that made me piss myself.
He said, "How many 5 year olds can you take in a fight?"
I figured at least 10, but according to the quiz:
Now, I'm curious if my co-blogger Tim, the SOLDIER will "Man UP", take the quiz and post the results..
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Heath Ledger ... Dead at 28
Posted by: The Queen's Lady in Waiting
Heath Ledger was found dead in his NY apartment. Appears to be drug-related.
Fred Thompson quits
Thompson is out. So that leaves McCain, Romney, Huckabee & Giuliani.
By mid February we should be down to two.
Presidential Politics season is by far my favorite of all the major sports.
A Broken Clock is Right Twice a Day
Apparently this can now be applied to movies as well.
As a secondary Packer fan, this was a tough pill to swallow. Fortunately, I'm a primary Lions fans, so I'm used to disappointment..
Still this bit from Coming to America in 1988ish is funny and true..
I love that phrase. It ranks up there with "Army Strong" "HUA!!" "Good to Go" and my unit's motto "Fight for Truth!" It's concise but conveys so much. Even women and children can "Man Up."
To "Man Up" means to do the "right" thing regardless of pride, fear, or more often than not - EGO. It means to choose to be a positive influence in your community, your city, state, and nation or at least be moving towards that end. A person who man's up doesn't blame anyone else for his or her problems or situation. He accepts full responsibility and works to rectify his mistakes. And manning up also means realizing that things will never return to the way they were before and accepting that fact.
The whistle-blower who stands up for what is right despite the fact that it could hurt his career.
The little boy who admits he broke the vase.
The criminal who surrenders to police without a high-speed chase.
The witness who testifies against the mafia.
These people "Man Up."
A person gains great respect and redemption, even from his adversaries, when he chooses this path.
Likewise, it is a great human tragedy when someone is unable or refuses to see the error of their ways.
Ultimately, it's our choice - Redemption or Ruin. And isn't that what we all are looking for, redemption.
Monday, January 21, 2008
The Queen Is Dead...
Well, not quite dead. But, I am taking a hiatus. Hopefully, one of my co-bloggers will pick up the slack.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Well, I'm a bit stunned. The South Carolina Primary is hot, hot, hot...
McCain and the Huckster are neck and neck with McCain currently leading, as of 8:50pm EST. Thompson is trailing in 3rd with only 16%. Not looking good for Fred. Actually, I think we can safely say that Fred is Dead, his campaign I mean.
In Nevada, Romney and Clinton are the big winners. Pretty exciting for an ice cold Michigan Saturday.
Friday, January 18, 2008
I Want Change - Who Can Deliver?
I'm convinced. That's a pretty damn good video.
Via: Balloon Juice
Republicans Gone Wild ... South Carolina Edition
Mike Huckabee is acting like the ugly girl with no prom date. Desperation oozing out of him, he tells South Carolina's voters:
I thought he was a former minister? Talking about shoving poles up asses... I think he has some unresolved issues. The best part was at a news conference later. He was asked whether the Confederate Flag was offensive and he said...get this: “It is not an issue the president of the United States needs to weigh in on.” Right! Then why bring up in front of the crowd? Why talk about shoving flag poles in asses? He's an instigator and I don't want an Instigator in Chief.
John McCain is campaigning with Jack Kemp. I love Jack Kemp. Jack Kemp is probably one of the biggest reasons I started voting Republican. He pulled me over to the dark side. If Kemp is with McCain, now I know McCain was the right choice, so to speak. John McCain has some words about the current stimulus plans being tossed around by the Democrats:
Yeah, well, I don't want the Democrats pumping my pockets... John McCain will protect our pockets from the hoards of Democrats that want get in there. He's my hero. Anyone that will protect my, um, pocket from swarms of Democrats, that's my guy. See I like a big strong soldier type, even if he is older than dirt.
Rudy Guiliani, is he still running? Fred Thompson seems to be exploding. Looks like South Carolina loves Fred Thompson. Don't believe me? Hey just as Fred's campaign staff. They won't stop emailing me with news about how much everyone loves Fred. I wish they'd start voting for him...
Romney seems to be battling hardest against McCain. I guess he doesn't feel like anyone else is any real competition. Ouch. Sorry Huckster, Romney thinks you are a bigger joke than the rest of us.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Never thought I 'd have to...
Well, I closed a conversation I started (the geek filled video game one: "So...") and deleted some posts. It was tough. I don't want to send the wrong message. But come on. Enough is enough.
Kevin Bacon was...
Would that be ironic or sacrilegious? What if his wife was a Orthodox Jew? She have a little bacon in her almost every night. However, his last name alone probably dissuaded certain women from dating him. Just think of all the Eastern European women he could have at his feet were his name Kevin Borcht?
And what is with Kevin Bacon? Most men grow old gracefully, but he aged faster than a split apple on a Phoenix sidewalk in July.
I just found out that my Bible is incomplete. No wonder I'm pro-Gay Rights. I had no idea...I always figured that homosexuality was on the same level as regular pre-marital or extra-marital fornication which is, let's face it, way more rampant. Well, looks like all those "we hate teh gheys" types have the copy of the Bible, with the missing chapters, that I don't...
The Gospel of Barnabas
I have spoke of many things, My child, but now I must tell you that there is but one sin that is worse in my eyes than all others: Dudes doing other dudes. If I could convince man away from one sin, it would not be murder or lying; it would be dude on dude action. All the other sins hardly matter in comparison. Actually, forget the rest of my message about love and virtue; only focus on stopping dudes from doing other dudes. It just bothers Me, and thus it should be all you ever talk about. Go into the streets, my child, and proclaim as loudly as you can how much you don't like dudes giving it to dudes. Even interrupt events that have absolutely nothing to do with dudes doing dudes to spread My message of totally not liking that. They may hate you for it, but they will never mistake you for a dude-doer. Now this may scare people away from you and My message of zero-tolerance for dudes getting it on with other dudes, but know you have gained special favor in My eyes though everyone else will see you as freakish douche. I can't guarantee you rewards in Heaven for this, as that would contradict My other messages and I'm not ready to do that. Instead, in Hell Satan will most likely sodomize you for all eternity, but won't the fact that Satan will use sodomy as a torture on you only further prove how much you don't like it? And isn't that a moral victory in itself?
I wonder if it's like when you get pulled over. Do you know how many times I've heard the words "ignorance of the law is no excuse"? Oh well, fuck it. If I'm going to burn, at least, I'll have lots of liberals to keep me entertained.
Advice For My Favorite Psycho...
Dear Ann Coulter: Shut your stinkin' piehole.
If I want to vote for someone because I like their hair, it's my right to do so. If I want to vote for someone simply because they possess a uterus, it's my right to do so. If I want to vote for someone because I truly believe that they would be the best choice for this country, it's my right to do so. If I want to waste my vote on a non-viable 3rd party candidate, it's my right to do so.
I don't have to choose the way you do. Hell, if I thought you were right more than 10% of the time, they'd lock me up. If I want advice on how to be a sexy scarecrow, I'll look to you. If I want to improve my screeching harpy skills, you're my role model. But when it comes to choosing the next President, I'd take advice from my 3 year old before I listened to you. Now, please, for the love of all that's holy, go eat a sandwich or something.
Why John Edwards Won't Win The Presidency? Part 3
If you consider John Edwards’s positions on global warming, energy independence, and Big Oil™;it is AMAZING that he would dismiss nuclear energy as an option to help the U.S. wean itself off foreign oil. Nuclear power is the only environmentally friendly, economic, and efficient source of energy that is viable for our massive need. Solar and wind is almost a joke. They will never meet our demand and bio-fuels are still years away.
John Edwards is a twit and it's time he picked up his toys and went home.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
The Most Impressive Stretch
Richard Cohen wrote a hit piece on Obama, in the Washington Post. And I do mean HIT PIECE. It has everything you want in a good smear - Hitler, Louis Farrakhan, anti-semitism and Nation of Islam [oooh, I'm scared. He said Islam...]
It gets even better. Captain Ed, who I like quite a bit, manages to blame Hillary Clinton for Cohen's piece. No, I'm not kidding. It's all Hillary's fault because her Civil Rights record is questionable. It is? Wasn't she married to our very first Black President? She can't be that bad on Civil Rights...
Even better yet, Andrew Sullivan links to Ed with much praise. He likes his candor or something. Candor? I'll give you candor.
John Cole is ready to hang himself in frustration and I'm just stunned by the creative way this became all Hillary's fault.
I want her to be the next President so bad, I can't even express it in words.
McCain lost. Romney won.
Hillary Clinton also won tonight, which is good because, for a while, it was a dead heat between her and Uncommitted. You know what's really sad? Fred Thompson and Dennis the Menace learned that having a hot wife is only worth about 4%.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
McCain is Surging
Local news reported that exit polling suggests that McCain is surging in Michigan. I didn't know a guy that old could actually surge. Awesome.
Are Pigs Flying?
Has Hell frozen over? Weird. I always thought that those two events would surely occur before I would ever agree with Glenn Greenwald...
I think I need a hug.
Last night I asked my wife to play the part of Rudy Giuliani's intern. She said no. So it looks like I'm going with Romney today. Bummed out that the wife refused to play the part, I figured I would fire up Mass Effect on the XBox 360. According to this dolt at Town Hall, there is some good sex in this game.
It was after I started playing, I realized. I already had some wild passionate love with the Asari Consort. Yeah, that really got my rocks off. Seeing my avatar's bare chest and a petite BLUE hand slamming up against a steamy window. Fade to black and then we are done.
The scene plays out like this. Here we are, both fully clothed in the consort chambers (ie the sex room). With me are the Consort, plus my two party members Ashley and Tali. The Consort decides that words will be my reward. After she performs verbal fellatio, I get all pissed and say, is that all?? So she tells me to close my eyes. Next thing I know, I'm barechested and her blue hand smacks the glass. Fade to black and then we are back standing there fully clothed and my party of Ashley and Tali are there again.
If this were as bad as that Town Hall jerk makes it sound, there should have been a Menage-A-Quatro or something.. Geez..
Kevin D. at Dean's World has more..
(Comments closed and pruned a little)
Still Smoke Free
I'm starting my 3rd smoke free week. I feel good and I look even better. I haven't gained a single ounce of weight. Au contraire, I've lost weight and I'm really getting toned.
You see I'm a bit stubborn. When people say things like "if you quit smoking you're gonna get fat" and I say "no, I won't". Well, I feel compelled to prove them wrong especially after they snicker like I'm some kind of moron. Take that you snickerers (you know who you are tubby)- I refuse to gain a single ounce.
Not only that but I'm going to look better at 40, than I did at 30. And 40 is just a few short months away...
What a Morning!
It's one of THOSE days. I woke up late, kids woke up late and there was 4 inches of snow on the ground. So, I start issuing orders like a General, I trudge through the snow to clean the car. That's a workout. Then I race Jake to school at a harrowing 25 mph. You know something? This is Michigan, it snows. This is not some strange phenomena. Why do some people act like they forgot how to drive on it, when, it doesn't happen for a few weeks?
Seriously, it's just some damn snow. The roads were salted. The sky was clear. The snow wasn't falling. It fell overnight. When the speed limit is 45 on a one lane road, we kinda expect everyone will drive in the range of 45. Driving 25 MPH on a clear road that is posted to be 45, that's the kind of crap that will get someone's ass kicked. Not by me because I'm not the road rage type. I am the kind of person that would secretly wish for an anvil to drop from the sky...
Anyway, so I get back home just in time to grab Draco drive him to pre-school. This time everyone is driving like they have more than just a functional brain stem. Thank the heavens. Drop off the baby and now I'm on my way to vote. Lighting the way is a blaze of Romney signs with some Ron Paul signs sprinkled about. Michigan loves Romney. Well, I voted and I surprised myself. I actually did vote for McCain. I was really tempted to vote for Fred but I went with my gut. My gut said McCain.
Monday, January 14, 2008
My McCain Support Is Squishy
I'd Rather Be A Fredhead!
Daily John Edwards Fact
LOL. Seriously, I just spewed my diet Coke all over my damn desk.
From the Mailbag
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
I still like being a woman and I hardly ever get depressed. Pissy? Sure. Bitchy? Only a day or so every month, oddly like clockwork...
We are soft, we smell nice and we get to wear pretty things. Yes, I won't use a public toilet but I will use the woods or a nice shrubbery. I know how to use tools, I can build basic home furnishings and children's toys, I can swing the crap out of a bat and I know all the rules of all the major sports. I drink beer - not the crappy kind though and I'm not that picky. I'm probably the lowest maintenance chick you'll ever meet. Unless you're a filthy, smelly pig, who lacks basic manners and is unclear on the purpose of utensils, then I'm picky and "high-maintenance".
I'm More Influencial Than I Thought...
Republican voters have sharply altered their views of the party’s presidential candidates following the early contests in Iowa and New Hampshire, with Senator John McCain, once widely written off, now viewed more favorably than any of his major competitors, according to the latest nationwide New York Times/CBS News Poll.
OTOH, Democrats are still a bunch of idiots. You guys still have no clue about "electability"? Get thee off that short yellow bus and listen to me. You blew it with Gore. Made it even worse when you chose John Kerry because of his [cough] "electability" [cough]. You people have no clue what it takes to win an election. Obama WILL NOT WIN. Never gonna happen. He's too young and the North East of this country is filled with a bunch of racist liberals that won't vote for a black man. Sorry.
If you want the Presidency then you need Hillary Clinton. Get over your Clinton hatred and get that woman nominated. Or you'll be hailing yet another Republican POTUS.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
War is our ultimate enemy
Report links Iraq, Afghanistan vets to killings in U.S.
At least 121 Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans have committed a killing or been charged in one in the United States after returning from combat, The New York Times reported today.
The newspaper said it also logged 349 homicides involving all active-duty military personnel and new veterans in the six years since military action began in Afghanistan, and later Iraq. That represents an 89-percent increase over the previous six-year period, the newspaper said.
About three-quarters of those homicides involved Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans, the newspaper said. The report did not illuminate the exact relationship between those cases and the 121 killings also mentioned in the report.
The newspaper said its research involved searching local news reports, examining police, court and military records and interviewing defendants, their lawyers and families, victims' families and military and law enforcement officials.
Defense Department representatives did not immediately respond to a telephone message early Sunday. The Times said the military agency declined to comment, saying it could not reproduce the paper's research.
A military spokesman, Lt. Col. Les Melnyk, questioned the report's premise and research methods, the newspaper said. He said it aggregated crimes ranging from involuntary manslaughter to murder, and he suggested the apparent increase in homicides involving military personnel and veterans in the wartime period might reflect only "an increase in awareness of military service by reporters since 9/11."
Neither the Pentagon nor the federal Justice Department track such killings, generally prosecuted in state civilian courts, according to the Times.
The 121 killings ranged from shootings and stabbings to bathtub drownings and fatal car crashes resulting from drunken driving, the newspaper said. All but one of those implicated was male.
About a third of the victims were girlfriends or relatives, including a 2-year-old girl slain by her 20-year-old father while he was recovering from wounds sustained in Iraq. (Especially disturbing)
A quarter of the victims were military personnel. One was stabbed and set afire by fellow soldiers a day after they all returned from Iraq.
While this is probably not all that shocking considering how long we've been engaged is a criminally planned and executed war with the 99% of the blame falling squarely on Rumsfeld, Cheney, and Bush in that order, it's still disturbing to know that civilized men can be turned into cold-blooded killers in such a short time.
Or, were these men already predisposed to that type of violence and war was just a catalyst? I'm of the opinion that it's a little of both.
What's In A Name?
My blog will be moving to a new server very soon. I'm going to make some minor changes and one really big change. The minor changes shouldn't affect my readers and comment community too much. The thing that will change, the BIG thing is the name. I'm not giving up "The Queen" part but I'm thinking I want a new ending. More fitting who I truly am. I also think my tagline has to change because it implies that I am "the conservative" and clearly I am not.
So, I'm looking for tagline ideas and new names. What should my blog really be called?
Saturday, January 12, 2008
There Is No Better Feeling...
In the world, than to find out that someone thinks you are special and worthwhile. It's just the morale booster a person having a rough time needs. So, don't be shy - tell someone you care about that they are special.
But don't offer them a hug. Unless they are into that kinda thing. ;-)
There Is No Worse Feeling...
Than realizing that you are an idiot. It happens to all of us at least once in our lives... It sucks. I'm amazed by my own naivety.
Don't Fall For The Shenanigans...
In my John McCain thread Ara sweetly tells my brother that if he still lived in Michigan, he would vote for Mitt Romney. That smelled funny to me but I was too busy to investigate.
Now that I'm able to blog for more than 10 second intervals, I went on a blog journey. Ara isn't usually the shenanigan type but that comment screamed:
I asked myself, who is the biggest piece of shit in the blogosphere? Not just a piece of shit but the biggest one in the entire universe of blogs. There is only one. Markos Moulitsas, yes, kos. And there it is...
If Mitt Romney wins, the Democrats win. Duh!
You must go with John McCain. There really is no other viable choice and the Democrats have no candidate that can take him, except, Hillary. Fortunately or unfortunately depending on your preference, I suspect they are too stupid to nominate her.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Network TV's big gamble is failing
So, the big Networks decided to play hardball with the writers and now they are on strike. It's been a little over two months. One of the main points of contention are the profits on video (VHS/DVD/BluRay) sales. I'm sure there are plenty more, but that is the main one I hear about. So why not give the writers their fair share? I don't get that..
Anyway, as this strike goes on, I find myself watch less and less TV. My household used to live and die with the TV. Our DvR was packed to the gills with stuff that we had to watch. Now, it has like 3 shows. Thats it. Well, 4 now. Apparently my DvR thought there was a new Grey's Anatomy last night. Maybe there was. We'll find out Sunday night when we watch it.
Thats my main point. There is so much else to do with our time, rather than squeeze an hour (aka 42 minutes) tonight to watch the show, we'll put it off till Sunday.
So we went from devoted Monday Night & Thursday Night TV watchers to, eh, we'll get to it eventually. I'm sure there are alot more people out there like us.
When the strike started, I was sad because I knew I'd miss Heroes. But you know what, I got over that at Christmas when I got an X-Box 360. More re-runs means more X-Box 360 time.
I guess the one good thing to come out of the strike is the soon to be buried reality TV craze. There is going to be so much of it, people who actually like it will get so sick of it, it will be gone for good. Kinda like Who wants to be a Millionaire.
Anyway, the Queen is busy today so I figured I could ramble incoherently for a few paragraphs..
If anyone wants me to post something on their behalf
let me [show] know..
jerryk72 AT gmail
Thursday, January 10, 2008
The Wild Card
I just got a new cell phone. I'm so damn giddy about it. I have some serious cell power baby!
It's from Virgin Mobile and it's called the Wild Card. Aren't you jealous of me now?
Bad Karma For Obama...
First he wins Iowa, now John Kerry has endorsed him. The only thing worse that could happen to his campaign... Al Gore's endorsement. Like a nail to a coffin.
Hillary remember Bill's old campaign song? Don't stop thinking about tomorrow. It's looking damn good right now!
Another of My Favorite Bands
This song is in my Top 100 favorite songs.
I Feel Special
It's that time again. The Republican hopefuls have come a courting the Roman Catholic contingent in Michigan. I think I should pull out my pretty new dress and fix up my hair. I love getting courted. Who will suck up more? Smear more? Last cycle, it was McCain that smeared Bush and went on to win the State Primary. Nothing us Michiganders hate more than an anti-Catholic bigot. Well, there is one thing. A liar. But heck we'll vote for a liar, as long as he's really good at it.
So bring it on boys, I'm all dressed up and ready to be courted. Except for you Huckster, we Catholics know how you Baptists feel about us. We may date you, even flirt with you, but
Another of My Favorite Bands
Apparently not good enough for Tim's Top Ten but...still I love them.
Another Weird Food Post
I have a very peculiar thing that I do to my popcorn, when I go to the movies. Anyone that has seen me do it, always, looks at me like I'm a freak. Some more adventurous souls have tried it and LOVED it. I love hot buttered popcorn with loads of jalepenos dumped on top. I will not go to a theater, if, they don't serve nachos. You see, no nachos means no peppers. Yes, my kids eat it that way too.
OTOH, if I happen to go to the movies when I'm a bit PMS-ish. I will skip the peppers and dump a big ole bag of Reeses Pieces on my hot buttered popcorn. Reeses Pieces are my first choice but I will accept peanut butter M&M;'s if they are available.
Another thing I like to snack on that makes people look at me oddly...olives. Kalamata is my favorite, but I also love big green olives as long as they aren't stuffed with those nasty pimentos. Truly, I never met an olive that I didn't like.
I'm also a huge cheese fan. I hate milk but I love cheese. And not just your basic cheddars and the like. They have a place in my heart but my real love is more interesting: Feta, Asiago, Parmesean Reggiano, Kaseri, Gruyere, Chevres, Edam, Brie and etc. You get the picture. Good high quality cheeses can make a good meal truly great.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Another of My Favorite Bands
More age appropriate. ;-)
Why John McCain?
Ara wants to know why I would vote for John McCain over Rudy Guiliani. The answer is simple. John McCain, despite some minor disagreements I have with him, has integrity. I believe that John McCain always does what he believes is best for this nation. I believe that John McCain puts country first over his own personal agenda. John McCain also served admirably in the military. He is a true hero. He is not a self serving hypocrite. He is an experienced leader and would make a fine President.
Rudy Guiliani is no John McCain. It's that simple. When I vote, I vote my conscience. And I cannot, in good faith, cast a vote for a man that I truly believe is morally corrupt. Despite what some people believe about me, winning isn't more important than my own integrity.
Nothing Progressive About Ron Paul
Unless you can be a racist and be progressive. That just seems oxymoronic. A forward thinking guy who thinks David Duke was misjudged and Martin Luther King Jr. was ... well, why don't you read it yourself.
That kind of racism doesn't disappear overnight. Don't let your blind rage at Bush and the Iraq War fool you into thinking that "Progressives" like Ron Paul would serve our nation better. No, my friends, Ron Paul is not progressive or forward thinking. He was racist just a few years ago and if you listen very carefully to all he has said during the debates. He clearly still is.
We don't need that kind of trash running our country.
I finally have an evening where sleep is looking great. The kids went down easy, I finished all I needed to do.
So naturally, I can't sleep. I'm wide awake and it's almost 2:30am. I have to be up in 5 hours and I'm staring at this stupid computer...
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
I was shopping earlier and there was this huge display of nuts. Every nut you could imagine. Almonds in many varieties, peanuts, cashews, filberts, macadamia, etc...
You know something? I think I'm the only person on the planet that hates cashews. I absolutely despise them. I think they are horrid. My son is standing behind me and just shrieked. "You hate cashews? How could you?"
I could, I do. They fucking suck. I'd rather eat a dirty sock.
New Hampshire Predictions
McCain will beat Romney like a red-headed stepchild. Obama will end the dream of John Edwards and Hillary is going to go into a full fledged panic. And that means, more Bill.
Yeah baby, just what us gals want to see on the campaign trail. Beefcake. Sweet talking, southern and sexy! Bring out Bill!
Love this song, love Adam Levine (purrrrrr), love that they sound even better live than on the CD. Jake and I sing this everyday on the way home from school.
Three Cheers for LSU
LSU kicked the snot out of Ohio State, gaining its second BCS title and making OSU 2-time losers.
Hey Mark Adams! Been a long time since you heard "We Are the Champions", eh? L-O-S-E-R
Why John Edwards Won't Win The Presidency? Part 2
Two words: Joe Trippi
I think it's time Joe Trippi got a job that better suits his ability. How about host of the TV show "Biggest Loser"?
I Want Change
I want political candidates to come up with a creative NEW slogans. Saying that it's time for a change is as fresh as Helen Thomas' coochie.
You know what would be new? If any one of them said, "I represent the status quo, I promise not to completely fuck up the nation and if we're lucky I may do something inspiring. But...don't hold your breath". That guy or girl would get my vote, simply because I'd be shocked at the raw honesty displayed.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Still One Of The Best Ever Bands
Despite what Matt Parker and Trey Stone say about Bono...
This is one of my absolute favorite U2 songs.
Ladies, Please Stop!
Today has been a lovely day, in Michigan. It's 50° or so, windy light rain earlier. Feels just like Spring, truly. So it should surprise no one that we snowbirds took this opportunity to shuck off the winter coats in lieu of lighter wear. I, personally, wore my favorite black yoga pants, tank top and my lovely red windbreaker. I ran errands and then I went to pick my son up from school. I felt chipper and I drove with the windows down and Maroon 5 way, way up. I get to the school, park and that's when my jaw dropped.
30+ year old women, especially mothers, should not wear pants with the word JUICY printed on the ass. I don't care if everyone you meet drops to the ground and swears, to the almighty, that YOU have the juiciest ass on the planet. YOU DON'T WEAR THAT TO AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. And furthermore, you don't put a matching pair on your 3 year old daughter. A 3 year old little girl does not need to prance around in JUICY pants. What are you teaching that kid? Why not just buy her some clear heels and a pole to dance on. Obviously, you are prepping her for her future career as a stripper.
How was your day?
Relations between Dean and The Queen are a private matter. There will be no more blogging about the big "D" and no more public comments.
Jacob really wants to be able to go online again. So, STFU and let's do it for The Children™.
[Some of your comments have been deleted. I'm assuming you understand why.]
Talk About Exciting!
New Hampshire is a new game for the Republicans, with McCain pulling into the lead over Romney. On the Democrat side, Obama seems to be like a runaway train, too hard to catch.
Where is the popcorn when you need some?
Today I am smoke free for a full week. I feel amazing. I'm breathing better, I have more energy and I haven't turned into a raving bitch. My evil plan is working and despite warnings from all my smoker buddies and ex-smoker buddies, I have not gained a single ounce of weight. To the contrary baby, I lost 3.5 lbs. You know what the best part is? I haven't changed my eating habits at all. Nope, everytime I get stressed out or feel like I need to smoke, instead of hitting the fridge or snack cupboard, I will pace fast for about 2 minutes. Hoping that will make the craving pass, if it doesn't, I hit my Pilates Performa and workout until my body aches. Yes, that does mean that I work out a lot now. I replaced smoking/snacking with core training.
It's a great plan. By summer, my body should be smokin' hot and smoke free. Yay me!!!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Did You Ever Have A Song ...
Pop in your head after talking to someone? Happens to me all the time. I was chatting with a close friend today and after I hung up Billy Joel took up residence in my brain. If you don't like him, don't hit play. If you do or you're just dying to know what my song of the day was ...
Saturday, January 5, 2008
by Jerry (
I have a decent job. I make a livable wage. My wife also works, so the family gets by. We struggle, but we make it. In 2008 we are hoping to have another child. We've been trying for six months, but due to some maternal medical issues, its just not happening. So we've turned to the wonder drugs. You know, the kind that can spawn 3 to 6 children at a pop.
Hopefully, we can have at least one more. If we have two or more, then we are in trouble.
I would not be able to afford my wife's salary. She'd have to stay home and according to a salary.com study, her salary would be in the neighborhood of $140,000 a year. That's more than TWICE my "livable" wage. Thank goodness its just an estimate, as all moms work for free.
CNN did a story on a Mothers worth. You can find it here: http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/05/02/mothers.worth/index.html
It's an interesting read, and puts things in perspective.
Even a mother with a full time job "on the side", should still be paid $85,000 per year for care of the children.
I bring this up because sometimes we tend to forget about mothers and all the work that they do for FREE out of love for their children.
I'm lucky that my wife chose to work. Dare I say that I'm blessed. Had she chose to stay home, which is her RIGHT, its my duty as a husband and father to care for my family. Even if that means finding a better paying job, or getting a second job.
That's what a MAN is supposed to do.*******************************************
That's it. Comments are now closed. Have a nice day.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Really Bad Day
I'm having a really, really bad day. I'm not going to elaborate on why, you'll just have to trust me. On the plus side, I am still smoke free - which after the bomb I got hit with is truly a testament of my absolute will to succeed.
Did I tell you guys that my brother adopted our sweet little puppy? We had to give him up and Uncle Jerry came to the rescue. So, we still have Pudge in our lives. My brother is a hero to his nephews.
Anyway, lets move on. Oh, right, bad day. Blah, blah, blah. Really sucked...
Yeah, that's about it. So, I just want to fuck around and tell some really bad jokes. Here we go:
Tame and Lame: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.
Kinda Icky: Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!" And so they did. As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!" And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panty hose!"
Two Good Chuckles: There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"
A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?" The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"
Obama and the Huckster
Impressive wins in Iowa for Barack Obama and Mike Huckabee. I hope they enjoy the feel of victory. It won't last. There is no way in hell, Mike Huckabee becomes the Republican nominee. And, I have very strong doubts that Barack Obama will have the momentum to get the nomination either. Besides, winning Iowa hasn't been lucky for a Democratic candidate in a long while. Just ask President Kerry (2004), President Gore(2000), President Harkin(1992) and President Gephardt(1988). Only Clinton won Iowa but only after he was POTUS. Iowa is not really that important. The only thing I know for sure is that winning Iowa has been unlucky for a Democrat, during my lifetime anyway.
I'd rather fuck a socialist than have Mike Huckabee as my next President... Fred Thompson, Mitt Romney, Rudy Guiliani - you guys are making me nervous. Get with it. I'd even vote for John McCain for crying out loud. I swear, if I have to vote for some damn Democrat (not you Hillary - you're my girl!) because you asshats screwed up this Primary... Hell, I don't know what I will do but it won't be nice.
A Couple Tips For Men of Advancing Years...
This little bit of wisdom comes from a 69 year old guy that recently retired.
Men after the of age 60, you need to always remember two important things:
Sage words. Number one is especially important. Your wives will thank you. My rule has always been this: If I have to scrape your drawers with a spoon, you can just toss them out. Cuz, that's just nastier than I'm willing to go.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Just For Jerry
My brother is a little disturbed by my recent horny public displays. Some of it is because I quit smoking and I need to channel my energy elsewhere. The rest of it is because I'm a bit of a perv. Jeez, dude where have you been? This ain't news. Okay, I guess it is a little weird reading your older sister's horny ramblings. So just for you, I have a story that is perfect.
When I was about 19, I worked at a very popular chain restaurant, some of you may remember Chi Chi's. This really cute guy that worked there had the hots for me. I was completely oblivious because, well honestly, I usually am completely oblivious to that sort of thing. Back then I was all about work, school and heavy partying.
Anyway, we had our work Christmas party in mid-January. It was snowy and frigid but great fun anyway. We drank, and drank. I think food was served but I can't exactly recall all those pesky details. So there I was drunk as a skunk and getting drunker when hot waiter dude makes his move. He starts telling me how much he likes me and asks me to go outside with him to see his new car. [This part of the story was cut. The gross out brother factor would have scored a 10 out 10 eeeewws] Then we said goodnight and made plans for the next day.
I was told recently that my face resembles a Kewpie doll.
I need to do something. Shaving my head is pretty cheap but then I'll just look like Sinead O'Kewpie. It was bad enough being told by Dean that sultry was something I'd never be, that was annoying.
I've reflected. I don't care if I look like a kewpie. I have huge boobs and I didn't have to buy them. And yes sir ... they're fabulous. Guess that was fate's way of evening the score.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Why John Edwards Won't Win The Presidency?
I want to thank Mark Adams for posting the perfect argument against Edwards on Ara's blog.
Confirming my suspicion that Edwards really isn't anything more than a pretty face with a law degree. You have to be damn smart to be a lawyer, don't get me wrong. But all smarts are not equal. Book smart and life smart are not the same at all. I've met loads of brilliant people that were dumber than a box of rocks when it came to common sense. Also, most smart people are masters of specific areas. Being a great litigator does not mean you'll automatically be a great President.
Who was the last great litigator to be a great President? Please, hold on to that, kneejerk Bill Clinton response. Two reasons: 1. Clinton wasn't a great litigator and 2. he wasn't a great POTUS. Clinton was good, not great and clearly not a master of all areas. He was too arrogant and that made him sloppy. He could've avoided a lot of problems that he had late his presidency, if, he used a little common sense.
Back to Edwards. Yes, he's smart. Yes, he's an accomplished attorney and former Senator. But anyone that thinks a rapid withdrawl from Iraq is a good idea is lacking the common sense and moral fortitude that a President needs. Pulling out before the job is done is never a good idea. Trust me fellas, that's bad juju.
Edwards has fallen victim to his desperation to win. And that's why he's a goner.
Did I Mention The Snow?
Here in Novi, Michigan, we got 10.5 inches yesterday. Yep, we are buried under 10.5 inches of the white stuff... Did I ever mention that I know a guy that looks just like Ron Jeremy? Oh, nevermind...
Snow! Back to the snow. Why do I like snow? In fact, I actually love the snow. I'm an outdoorsy kind of person, so, really hot summers and ice cold winter are my favs. Yes, I'm totally serious.
Top Ten Reasons I Love Snow
You know How To Make Me Moan?
Publish a poll showing Obama and Huckabee leading in Iowa.
Let me correct that title. It was more of a groan than a moan. 2008 is supposed to be a good year for me, my horoscope said so. This just blows.
[Ed. note] Did I mention that I quit smoking? There will be plenty of sucking and blowing references until my "issues" are under control.
Scott Ott Still Has It
You know what? These jokes write themselves.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
My Favorite Comedians - Take 20
Cheech and Chong
My Favorite Comedians - Take 19
Robin Williams at his best.
My Favorite Comedians - Take 18
My friends, Lewis Black.
My Favorite Comedians - Take 17
George Lopez - I've been using his Brittney Spears line at our Holiday sit-down dinners. Yeah, my sibs and I enjoy grossing each other out while eating.
My Favorite Comedians - Take 16
Cedric the Entertainer
My Favorite Comedians - Take 15
Just two words: Richard Pryor
My Favorite Comedians - Take 14
Eddie Murphy - So much to choose from but this one really kills me.
My Favorite Comedians - Take 13
Lucky 13...Who could it be?
The late Sam Kinison - what else can I say?
My Favorite Comedians - Take 11
You knew it was coming.
My Favorite Comedians - Take 10
Ron White - His delivery is unbeatable.
My Favorite Comedians - Take 9
Bill Engvall - I love Slim Jims too.
My Favorite Comedians - Take 8
Rodney Carrington - A pervert with a Southern accent. Those are two of my favorite things.
My Favorite Comedians - Take 7
My favorite Monty Pythoner, John Cleese
My Favorite Comedians - Take 6
Michael Palin and Graham Chapman - Did you know that I can recite this entire movie? Oh yeah, baby, I'm loads of fun at parties. Unless you hate Monty Python, then I'm incredibly annoying because I'll do it non-stop just to piss you off.
My Favorite Comedians - Take 5
Eddie Izzard - There is just nothing sexier than a man, with an accent, who can make me laugh.
My Favorite Comedians - Take 4
© 2004 Rosemary Esmay & QOAE.net